Little Tiara

Birthday Galore pt.1

Posted in moments in life, that guy, the best friend by littletiara on April 5, 2010

|What I got for my birthday|

I know my birthday was a long time ago, but I have this habit to celebrate it with my friends weeks later, this years celebration was held last week, and what a coincidence, none of my friends bought their big SLR camera, so we took pictures using cellphones, and I haven’t received any of the pic yet. I got SO MANY gifts I tell you. Here are what I got:

from two of my silliest friends, they’re crazy, this pouch has my university logo on it, notice that it’s kind of smeared? Yes, I tried to remove my university logo. So much for being a good student, lol. But this thing turns out to be really useful, a small pouch that can contain LOTS of things inside, I can even put my books in it. Thank you, boys! lol.

From my bloggy friend, cecillee, she’s so kind! These were an advanced birthday gift from her, when she went to Bali (and Singapore) she remembered to bring me these stuffs, actually there were more, but I didn’t get to take a picture of them *sigh*, will hopefully do later. She sent me lots and lots of earrings, and more jewelries, haha. I’m so loving her gift! ;D

From my friend, Aline. She got her boyfriend from Australia bought this book for me, I couldn’t find the English version here in Indonesia (or I’m just too lazy to go looking for it, haha…). When I opened the wrap (I knew what it contains already, lol) my friends instantly told me that they want to borrow it once I finished reading this book, while actually I have no plan to finish it soon, it’s still in queue… the first book to read in my list? Something about narrative, scheme actantial and Algirdas Griemas.

The best gift of all, from my girls; Nanette, Rian, and Aline (yes, she gives me two). A sketch book and a brush set! Oh my! This is like the thing I want the most recently! I have yet to draw anything on it, I want to wait ’till I have the brightest idea, I don’t want to waste a page, lol. So precious! :D

Actually there are more, but I haven’t took a pic of them yet, and the best friend? Yes, he had bought me something, I still don’t know what it is, though. He forgot to bring it the last time we met (so typical of him, yeah.)

I love birthday with lots of surprises! ;D

This is the first part of my birthday post series, more to come very soon! :D

My world is turning up-up-up and side-side-side and down

Posted in girl talk, little secrets, moments in life, that guy, the best friend by littletiara on March 12, 2010

I just realized I didn’t put up any title in the previous post, lol. Guess I was too caught up with the fact that… oh well, that LOTS of things happened, and I was so wrong thinking everything will end soonest. Later yesterday I found my friend(s) commenting on my La Vie en Rose post. Which practically turned me as crazy as one could be, just in case you forget, in the very first paragraph of that post I’ve written:

Now I just need to pray silently none of my friends read this.

Amen.

You may say my prayers went unanswered. And honestly, reading these comments from my friend freaked the hell out of me (duh, of course).

There’s something not much people know about me, but now I’m gonna let the world know.

Ever heard of something called ‘Philophobia‘?

It’s the fear of… anything love related, fall in love, being in love, being loved, and such.

Let alone being in a relationship.

I know it’s ironic for someone as addicted to anything romance-related as me is afraid of being in love, but oh well, this isn’t the first time I face this so…

Okay, I’ll talk about this phobia later. Not really the point, although it is in some ways.

on with the story, I was so freaked out when I read my friend commenting, so I decided to just let the guy knows it from me instead of from the gossip, so after contemplating for minutes, I texted him (this is the exact words I sent to him, yes, I wrote him in english)

Look, what am I to you? Are we friends or are we more? For me it’s the latter, though I’m still unsure about it. 

Anyway, I wrote it in my blog and one of our friends read it which means I’m practically dead.

Geez, why is it always me confessing and not the other way around? Stay friends aren’t we?

Aren’t I sound so cool? Blunt and bold and a little bit insane?

Guess what he said in his reply? lol. He only said one word, 

“Seriously?”

So I explained that I do, though I’m not in any state of a relationship, I enjoy being with him and I just tell him because I don’t want him to know it from his friends instead of me. He answered that he feels the same but choose to take things slowly.

One thing I missed to explain though, that he’s not the one and only I have in mind, I love hopping from one guy to another (which isn’t a good habit but…), sure I enjoy his company, I love spending time with him and do something I’ve never thought of before, but there’s so much more of the boys world I want to unveil and try.

Anyway, we’ve known each other’s feeling, so is it that kind of open relationship? I don’t know. I felt silly when I remember how my romance related stories always end up this way, do you think confessing your feeling to every guys you like is a good thing? lol.

I think I should be thankful that my crushes have a pretty smart mind (remember the best friend?). *phew*

and by the way, I think I miss the best friend. Now it’s his turn to do the duty in the village for two months! Two months! Geez, I miss him muchies.

And and and! My brother is coming home today! Well… he’s coming this morning, and this night he’s coming back to the city he lives in. He’s just plain crazy, really. He arrived here 7 in the morning and back there again 7 in the evening? I need more time to snuggle with him and his craziness…

I WANT MORE! lol :P

Not enough of our awesomeness?
Fine, I’l give you more.

I think he beats me in making faces, haha. He’s pro.

And oh, I got my new phone already. Though I’ve been wanting for a 5530 (and actually still secretly want it now), but I and dad couldn’t find it anywhere. So daddy dearest decided to just buy me this E63. Not bad ;D only less stylish, all the facilities I want in 5530 is actually owned by this phone too.

And my internet is BACK! The modem is working properly again! I don’t know what happened, I mean, we didn’t do anything! Really! Hahaha… I’m so happy!
Quite a long post to sum what happened in two days, isn’t it?

edit.
Lol. So most people thought those pictures are of me and the crushies, no he wasn’t, that’s my dearest little brother there! ;D haha. I checked it and yeah, I didn’t even explain who that is o.O my bad, lololol.

Growing Up

Posted in girl talk, moments in life, the best friend, words of the brain by littletiara on February 24, 2010

I just got myself a new haircut yesterday and took a picture of it using my webcam, and so when I opened the folder, I found the pictures of me these last three years. I couldn’t believe those pictures were taken in three years gap. I am changing, but not really. lol.

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Do you see me changing from time to time?

I remember one day my friend came to my house and saw my baby albums, and she said, “how come your face never changes from baby up to now?” lol. She was of course hype things up, I mean, that’s not possible, right? lol.

Anyway, notice that in the pictures my hair is always short? This year I started off aiming to have at least a slightly longer hair, just because I want to know how do I look, and this is the latest picture of me with my hair and new bangs :P

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Not bad, I hope. Heheh.

And by the way, growing up isn’t about facial change, right?

This is kind of different and scary to type about but I think I’ve found a… someone new? Well or so I hope.

Why scary to write you ask? Oh isn’t it always scary? Writing about someone you like/love/whatever, admit it, you want them to read it but you’re also afraid if they do really read it, lol.

Anyways, yes. I have found a new object of my affection. The last time I went out with the best friend, all feelings were different. It was still enjoyable and fun, and my heart, oh my dear heart still went boom boom when I saw him from afar, but there was a huge difference I felt I couldn’t fathom what.

And that time, I was sure we were back to be best friends.

The new guy? He had successfully swept me off my feet. Crazy… but ah, whenever I’m in love I’m always crazy, so… ah well… this one is just different.

And I think I’ll just talk about him in the next next next post.

What Happy Life is

Posted in moments in life, the best friend by littletiara on February 18, 2010

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My definition of happy life?

1. Straight when I came back from the village, it was the best friend who picked me up.

2. Having a good quality time with him, we went straight to a mall even with my messy make-up, hungry face and (almost) inappropriate outfit.

3. Japanese food with him, and frozen yoghurt after that.

4. Him being not whiny like he usually is-at all, bet he missed me. I was gone for a month after all :P

5. He was nice actually, and did some gentleman gestures like carrying my luggage around the mall, instead of letting me did it. Heh-heh. (Yes, I just couldn’t wait a second to even take a break before going to the mall, I missed it too much! LOL. or more likely, missed him?)

6. Blogging, showing off the goodies I experienced in the village here :P

7. Had a good sleep, under my thick thick bedcover and kicked it in the middle of the night and pulled it back when morning comes.

8. Ramen, vodka and Pringles with my friends the day after.

9. Planning to go for a Karaoke with them soon.

10. Realizing that there’s no hidden feeling whatsoever anymore between me and the best friend and that it’s time to find someone new-and thinking that I’ve actually found one.

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Those are my series of happy life list. Care to show me yours? :)

Of your soul and its mate

Posted in girl talk, the best friend, words of the brain by littletiara on January 8, 2010

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I just listened to the recorded conversation (again), but this time I decided to listen to the full version (yes, the full 2 hours or so version), somewhere in the conversation; we talked about soulmate.

I didn’t (or rather, couldn’t) really pay attention to what he said about it (for my heart was beating too fast and all), still… now when I listen to it again, I still can’t fully grasp it. As a hardcore fan of anything romantic, the concept of soulmate is still kind of too absurd to me, sure thing I’d love to believe that everyone was meant to be with their special someone, who no matter they go they’ll end up with the soulmate anyway.

But how can we know that the one we ended with is our soulmate? What if somewhere along the road we gave up the relationship?

In the middle of this conversation about soulmate he stated that he wants to write a book about it, about love and soulmate, and knowing his poor ability to write and/or to express his thoughts in words, he asked me to help him. Now, that’s a nice future project, a book about love and soulmate? :)

No, not a story about love and soulmate, but more about its concept and thoughts about it so I might as well start the observation now, do you believe in soulmate?

ps. I texted him the other night and now after I let him know all my feelings towards him, everything seems and feels different, it gives me a funny feeling inside me, I couldn’t even try not to write ‘lol‘ or ‘haha‘ in my every message. This is fun. Haha.

pps. Sorry for keep talking about this very occasion *sigh* I would stop if I could, but I think my brain is still left there, I’ll get it back soon, really. (or not really). Hehe.

Artsy Pantsy Tiara

Posted in creaking creativity, girl talk, the best friend by littletiara on January 6, 2010

To say that I started 2010 with a hit is almost an understatement, everything seems so dreamy and whimsical to me, I mean… every single thing! Not only that confession day but the whole six days I’ve been through.

I gotta say that I never actually spend my New Year’s Eve outside the house, frankly, I spent my last three NYE in bed, it was whether I fell sick, raining hard outside or I was just simply too lazy. But this year started differently, I got out of the bed, leaving the comfort zone to a more fun place, with friends and lots of fireworks.

Me confessing my feeling to the best friend was indeed one of the hugest step, bravest act I’ve ever encountered. Even until now I still can’t believe I really did it. Every morning when I wake up I ponder that it’s another new day, and I wasn’t just dreaming or being delusional, all really happened.

Another huge step is this giveaway thing, my artwork finally being undiscovered, little by little.

So today I’ve decided to answer some questions about my artwork:

Mariella:
What inspires you when you make those drawings/paintings?

Organised Chaos:
What kind of things inspire your artwork ?

They kind of ask me a same question, right? Great minds think alike? ;)

My artwork is purely an imagination doing which most of all based on my feelings. When I’m feeling blue I’ll draw something kind of gloomy with gray colors and darker tone, and when I’m madly in love, you know how it’ll turns out to be, pink and all. lol.

My friends inspire me too, real things that happened in real life, and my thoughts about it. Basically it’s a brain and heart work, hehe.

Rika Safrina:
how long have you been drawing, and how did it start?

Sheri:
How long have you been an artist? Do you remember the first thing you created?

I learned drawing years ago when I was in the 5th grade, my friend taught me. She was such a blessing to me, she helped me find my artistic way, I wouldn’t be the same without her. She was an artist herself, and I think she saw the talent(?) in me, so she taught me, how to make nice line, curves, colors, gradations and all. Whenever she knew a drawing competition she signed me up, so I got used to it; that was how.

The first thing I created?
I don’t really remember, honest. It was almost more than ten years ago I believe. lol. I think it’s something about plane, because well… the first drawing competition I participated in was held by Garuda Indonesia, Indonesian national airlines.

Nikolett:

– What are some of your favorite artworks that youv’e made?

My favorites? I love all my artworks, but I love it more when I can make what I have in mind into a real piece, here are some:

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I believe some of you had seen it before. It was made when I missed someone (Geez, and you should also know who he is), I felt him getting distant and I couldn’t help but missing him.

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I just love how magical this picture can be, all the fireflies glow and the colors captured what I wanted to make perfectly. Before I made this I’ve been planning and plotting for days in my head, once I got my hands on my wacom bamboo and started drawing I just felt absorbed to it, once finished I felt so… accomplished.

Second question from her…

Do you find it easier to express yourself in words, in artworks, or by speaking your thoughts out loud?

in artworks I must say, everything can be so ambiguous here, and yet hold a lot of meaning. Not forgetting how heart and brain work so in-sync when I’m drawing, actually I often surprised myself at how my artworks turn out.

Though, not all people understand language of painting, and how a drawing can be so multi-interpreted.

Ceecile – Priscilla Clara

If you can describe yourself in a fantasy way, what will you draw to define who you are??? ^^

A princess of course! Haha, one who loves to runaway from the palace and walks in the crowd. One who is well-known amongst her people and is loved :P. And of course one who is hopelessly romantic and enjoys the palace ball like shopping :) who waits patiently for her prince charming to come.

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Honestly dear, I wanted to keep this picture a secret. Other than the fireflies this is my other favorite. Just look at how romantic and whimsical the colors are. Not to mention how hard it was to imagine how is actually a dancing position is. Haha… So this can be counted as an answer to Nikolett’s question as well.

I hope you all enjoy this post :)

I’m still hangover but hey!

Posted in girl talk, moments in life, the best friend by littletiara on January 5, 2010

One very good thing about asking you to give me question for the giveaway (join now if you haven’t! Ha!) is now I have HEAPS of things to talk about, ha!

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And in this post, I’ll answer Shirley and Nikolett’s side-question:

Shirley the toothfairy: When will you finally tell him alright?

Nikolett: Aw, toothfairy took my question haha :)

January 4, 2010 at 19.19 (a.k.a 7.19 PM) That answered the question.

But because Andhari and Nikolett demanded the more detailed story (as I hope the others will be interested to know too) – and I actually kind of want to share the story, so here it goes.

wait, before anything, I just have to warn you that this is a long fluffy post.

Okay girlies, this has got to be one of the biggest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. I finally told him yesterday and it was quite fun – I might as well addicted to it, lol.

I fully know that I am an uber forgetful girl, so for this kind of occasion, one that I don’t really want to forget, I decided to taped/recorded it. I’ve been listening to our almost-two-hours recorded conversation multiple times now – and it still makes me feel all fluttery and giddy, I can say that I honestly still blush too.

Geez.

So we met, I told him I need his help for an interview, and apparently he – just like me – loves question, I bet he feels like a celeb too when he’s being interviewed, lol.

We talked about love and his vision about it, about friendship turns into love and all, do you really want me to tell you the whole four hours conversation? No, right? (yes, the recorded one is two hours, but entirely, including some random subjects, we were talking for four hours or so)

Skip that part, So to give you a little more detailed description, we were in a gazebo, second storey (yes, the gazebo has two storey!) laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, head to head, with the recorder in between. Alright, I just have to draw it, right? Use your imagination.

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See, that’s how we look from above.

So when I felt the time is almost right, I asked him… Oh, and honestly, I waited until the clock strikes 19.19, lol.

Some parts here, I think in no particular order :D

Me: So I’ve been single all these while because I’m stuck, in love with only one person who is actually my friend, what should I do?

Him: Tell him then! Or else you’ll be curious all the time and stuck forever if you can’t find a better guy.

Me: Tell him? So what if I like you?

Him: Then tell me!

Me: Okay, I like you

Him: …

Me: What now?

Him: What?

Me: See, I’m stuck with this guy because I’m curious about him! (yes, I’m repeating the explanation here)

Him: Yep, and he’s your friend…

Me: Yea.

Him: Just tell him! Geez!

Me: Then what?

Him: Then see his reaction! You can’t know what he feels if you don’t tell him.

Me: Well I like you

Him: You who? Me?

Me: Uhuh…

*silencesilencesilence*

Him & Me: Hahaha… (awkward laughter)

Him: What to do now?

Me: I don’t know…

Him: Hmm… Well, I have a girlfriend

Me: I know, well actually you always do

Him: Yeah, so…

Me: Well I got it… but I just need to let you know, now it feels alright.

Him: But hey, you have to remember we still have time to answer.

Me: Oh come on! Don’t make me confused! Yes or No!

Him: That’s not me to decide! I may have a plan but there’ll be a process, and during that time there’ll be occasions, things will happen and there’s fate only time can show the answer.

Him: Are you sad?

Me: No! I mean, well no! I’m not… but there’s a feeling… *blabbering here – the point is I was happy that I’ve succeeded telling him, but in a long blabbering way.

Him: But hey, never, ever think that after you tell me your feeling like this we’re not friends anymore, okay?

Me: Ah! That’s actually one thing that kept me not telling you, I can’t bear losing a friend like you, I mean, losing you is such a loss, right?

Him: Of course! (after listening it multiple times I just realized how obnoxious this sentence is, lol)

Me: So have you ever liked me?

Him: Well… I don’t know, it’s all ordinary…

Me: Awww, come on! You should at least amuse me a little! Make me happy, you just broke my heart!

Him: *rolls eyes* Aaalriight… well, I like it when we have a conversation or just hanging out randomly

Me: Aren’t you surprised?

Him: Me? Not really?

Me: (o.o!) How so?

Him: Well, I can feel it you know, but I’m unsure of it, and that’d be ridiculous to ask you if you like me.

Me: Hmm…

Him: You’re great, you know?

Me: Why?

Him: That you finally said it, I’ve been waiting for the time you finally do it

Me: What the hell, you’ve known it all along?

Him: Well I do…

Me: *smack his head* geez

Him: Now you’re not curious anymore, right?

Me: Yea :)

At the end of our meeting I gave him the drawing, Although he couldn’t quite understand it, luckily I was still there.

Him: What’s with a tree?

Me: Actually the main point isn’t the tree

Him: Then what? *staring at the picture a long time*

Me: The fireflies

Him: What fireflies?

Me: Those yellow things are fireflies!

Him: Ooh!! I thought they were dry leaves falling from the trees!!!

Me: (-.-“)

He asked me to write something at the back of the drawing (and sign it, just in case I’m becoming a super famous painter later, he’ll have the honor to get it now), so I wrote… I actually don’t really remember but it’s something along this line:

“For fireflies always shine although short-lived”

Well, what I actually meant was that even if it might be temporary, this feelings I have for him does exist and is pleasing and enjoyable.

Later that night he sent me a text message:

”Thank you for the drawing, I’ll make sure the fireflies keep on shining for the tree”

Honestly I don’t know what he thinks of the picture, but that was one nice line from him, rarely happened I have to say, lol.

it feels almost like we were talking in codes.

This must be one of the loooooongest post I’ve ever posted.

I know this is blog and not twitter

Posted in girl talk, the best friend by littletiara on January 4, 2010

But I only have this thing to say:

I’VE TOLD HIM

That’s all, thank you :)

Hahahahahahahahaha… I’m glad I did it.

More details later, okay ;)

So I told him Monday, January 4, 2010 – 19.19

ps: don’t forget to enter my giveaway if you haven’t yet :) CLICK HERE TO JOIN

Dear 2009

Posted in creaking creativity, moments in life, the best friend by littletiara on December 31, 2009

 

 

I still can’t believe that this year will really end so soon, like in… what? Seven hours?

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This year has been a… fun one. I started blogging in littletiara blog this year, made some new friends, discovered the creative worlds, turning twenty, celebrating my birthday together with my friends’, realizing my feeling towards the best friend, went to Bali vacation, business talk, did some modeling,  lived a torturing life in the village…

Heaps of things happened this year, and thank goodness I have this blog where I can write it out to remember all those occasions.

I learned a lot, a hell lot this year.

And let’s not forget changing my layout like thousand times this year, hahaha.

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So what are you going to do on the new year’s eve?

Well I’m currently still don’t know, it’s cloudy outside and I’ve been suffering from flu these two days, nose running, high temperature and sore throat, no fun. But I still want to have fun so let’s see… My mom and dad will go out after all, how can the elder spend their new year’s eve hanging out while I’m curling under the thick blanket watching some TV? No can do.

Well, maybe can do… if it’s really raining.

And I’ll celebrate this littletiara bloggyversary in two days, yes, it was born on January 2nd, and I have something in mind for you all dear friends and followers ;) so stay tuned.

And well of course, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Have a RAWR! ;P

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Anyone has made a new year resolution yet?

Let’s see… Mine would be:

1. Graduating, of course
2. Get a life job, a fun one
3. Tell him (geez, you know what I mean)
4. Bake more cookies
5. Bake more cupcakes
6. Bake more
7. Make more new friends (online and offline)
8. Meet a bloggy friend
9. Create more artworks
10. write a better list

When it rains

Posted in creaking creativity, moments in life, the best friend, words of the brain by littletiara on December 28, 2009

I’ve always loved it when it rains, it gives me a calm sensation, makes me want to sleep (lol) and perfect for any romantic occasion, thoughts and daydreams. Listening to romantic song when it rains is one of my favorite things to do, along with… well… sleeping.

I didn’t like the rain that fell yesterday, though. Remember I was planned to meet the best friend and supposed to tell him? Rain fell soooo heavily and I just couldn’t get out of my house, nor my dad would allow me to do so. We did went to the VW jamboree though, but it’s a different story. So I just sulked inside my room, trying to make some creative artworks, which surprisingly happened.

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Don’t worry, I’m determined this time, so I’ll surely tell him. Probably after the new year. Sounds like a good plan, starting a new year with a broken heart, lol.

Another talk today, not so fun one; my mom entered my room (which is actually rarely happened) and asked me what I would be when I’m graduated. This question depresses me…

(one) I haven’t even done with my thesis, and to think about the final exam and all :( and my friend just texted me he will do his final tomorrow. FREAKING TOMORROW!

(two) I still don’t know, honestly, what I will work as, I don’t even want to think about it, but I have to, I guess. I thought of my online bookstore but I’m finding myself unsure about it, and selling my artwork? I still have to gain more confidence and financial bases, I don’t know what I’m gonna be and it scares me!

On a lighter note, anyone noticed the banner look a lot like my profile picture? Here’s the comparison:

My banner/header:

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My profile picture:

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LOL. I swear I didn’t do it intentionally! I just realized it today! Meheheheh… kind of cool :d now I only need to make my header pic pout her lips, lol. I think I was concentrating about something in the computer in that photo, why do I always have to pout when I’m thinking? Gah, unattractive.